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By: Danielle Aranda
Artwork by Samantha Denise Torres

I can’t hide from the nights that turn my bones to stone. My refuge cannot be found by hiding in crevices and coexisting with my fear until I become a part of it. There will be centuries of the earth’s gravity weighing me down to phase into the ground below my feet and fill my lungs with the dead stillness of nothing.

I will experience death in flickers before my last breath. But there are glimmers of light after every end, and inherent peace among the chaos. I will experience life in technicolor and drown in euphoria.

In an era of grey, they seem momentary, almost a millennium away. We will claim their existence as a mirage but dwell in the longing, let nostalgia linger, and coil to our very being.

I am happy these days, but I’m trying not to see it as a wonder of existence but rather the wonder in existing.