An Open Letter to My Melancholic Self

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Artwork by Bielle Baral

Hey. Can we talk about something?

Something that has been bothering me for quite some time now…

…something that might remind us of why personal reflection is still necessary. Can we talk about it? I believe that there’s never a reason to not do so.

Can we talk about that time when you told me that you wanted to give up? Do you remember the moment when I started doubting my own capabilities ever since you told me that? Gone are the days wherein you used to be inspired by everything you do. The words “she can” used to be your nickname. Words of excitement followed every phrase in our conversation. Now tell me, where did she go?

What motivated you to keep on talking about your dreams? Why were you willing to let go of the childish antics? Can we talk about that? Just like the growth of your goals, you said that you needed to grow as well. Let’s talk about the breakdowns that turned into smiles. How about the palpitations caused by euphoria? You were once reckless, brave, and unstoppable.

Let’s talk. Tell me why you stopped believing.
Why did you let doubt linger in your mindset as it ate the person who was once on the cusp of achieving and dreaming?

Tell me, were those even real? The truth is, I’d rather start over. It doesn’t look like it, but you’ll get over it.

I want that person back.